three things i’ve been ruminating on

maybe if i write about them i can stop the thoughts

I cannot stop marvelling at the content on Xiaohongshu.

In case you are not abreast of the latest in social media hijinks, for about 24 hours in January the US Congress banned TikTok and millions of users ran to a Chinese social media platform, called Xiaohongshu, that is something like TikTok, Instagram, and Pinterest all in one. Many, if not most, Americans have gone back to TikTok, but I’m staying on Xiaohongshu.

It is such a peaceful app. No one is yelling at me, no one is trying to sell me something, no one is trying to get TikTok famous with political takes. My ForYou page consists of lovely flat tours, walks through various large and small cities, Traditional Chinese Medicine tea recipes, and cats. And the best part? After about 20 minutes of this content I am content (haha, see what I did there) and can quite easily close the app and move on.

Just last weekend I said to my husband, ‘According to my phone, my period will start sometime in the next few days, so I need to get to the Asian shop for my tea ingredients.’ We’ve arrived at the sci-fi future where new tech and old traditions exist together.

I cannot stop thinking about quitting Instagram.

There are only about five people I want to keep following on that platform, but for some reason I cannot pull the deactivate trigger. I’ve tried to get rid of my Facebook account twice in the last nine years, but no matter how closely I follow the rules for deactivation my account is still there. I finally deactivated my Twitter account two weeks ago, once I had made sure most people I followed there had also gone over to Blue Sky. So, why am I finding Instagram so hard?

And once I finally get rid of IG, what about WhatsApp? It’s also Zuckerberg tech (by acquisition, not by invention) but it’s what most people in Europe use for texting. If I’m keeping WhatsApp why not keep a private IG account? And what about this platform here? Ethically, regarding giving money and platforms to right-wing grifters, this company is no better.

The background track to these thoughts is a persistent worry that if I’m not writing, or sharing my writing, online, then I’m not going to ‘make it’ as a writer.

I did not expect that these would be the ethical dilemmas of my adulthood.

I cannot stop thinking about my luxurious, fucking expensive, down coat.

I wasn’t kidding last week. My wool suit jackets were warm enough to be winter coats in Spain. I knew as soon as we moved that I needed to acquire actual winter-weather accoutrement and I kept procrastinating on a coat simply because I hate most down coats. I think they make everyone look like overgrown toddlers. It took months, but I finally found one I didn’t hate. It has real down stuffing, it’s a lovely dark brown bronzy colour, the snaps are slightly off-centre, and the collar/hood is an interesting design.

As far as puffy coats go, it’s not so bad, but that’s not why I can’t stop ruminating. It’s because the coat is too warm for temperatures above freezing, and it’s only been below freezing a few times this winter. So far, my cost per wear is 42 Euros! Bad news not only for my budget, but for our planet’s climate as well.

I don’t necessarily want to wear the coat but I most definitely want to need to wear the coat.